They conducted a survey and asked over 64,000 couples (on their site) which partner had the idea to open their relationship.
Two-thirds of the couples answered that the woman wanted it first.
A few weeks ago, Diana—not my girlfriend's real name—mentioned that a friend had just quit a high-profile gig at a high-profile restaurant to embark on a new career."She's dancing at Saint Venus Theater now," Diana informed me. These events are members-only, and every Tuesday we lucky few wake up to an email that contains a secret password and the addresses for that week's three, sometimes four events. You'd be forgiven at first for mistaking the scene inside for a boozy hedge-fund mixer.
" Diana narrowed her eyes in disbelief."You don't know what Saint Venus Theater is? The "art" is whatever happens to be hanging on the walls, the "music" is a worst-of selection from Top 40 hip-hop and R&B.
She grew up in the South, was attracted to women and fascinated by programming. They fell in love but weren't ready to cut off other options.
In 2010, she moved to the Bay Area and has since worked at several major tech companies. "He hadn't dated many other women in the past, and I wanted to explore too," she explained.
But two-by-two isn't the only way to go through life.
According to its site, a marvel of late-90s web design that still links to a My Space page, Saint Venus Theater "is an art, music, and performance inspired erotic venue." I have attended SVT just often enough to know that the only accurate piece of that statement is the word "erotic." Saint Venus is where your i Banking buddy takes you to get touchy-feely lap dances from women who do not identify as strippers.
The idea that men are the only ones who have trouble with monogamy is false.
According to the website Open Minded.com, more women initiate open marriages than men. Open marriage is defined as a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with other.
These consensually nonmonogamous relationships, as they're called, don't conform to the cultural norm of a handholding couple in love for life.
They come in a dizzying array of forms, from occasional "swinging" and open relationships to long-term commitments among multiple people. They communicate to death," said Bjarne Holmes, a psychologist at Champlain College in Vermont.
Now, social scientists embarking on brand-new research into these types of relationships are finding that they may challenge the ways we think of jealousy, commitment and love. All of that negotiation may hold a lesson for the monogamously inclined, Holmes told Live Science.
"They are potentially doing quite a lot of things that could turn out to be things that if people who are practicing monogamy did more of, their relationships would actually be better off," Holmes said.
On Valentine's Day, images of couples are everywhere.
They're buying each other diamond rings, making eyes over expensive restaurant meals and canoodling over chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne.
There used to be a belief that women wanted romance and men want sex, or women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex, but that just seems so outdated.
Men aren't primarily predators, and to think that women only have sex to hang on to their man is archaic.