And while I have a lifetime of experience dealing with these quirks of my body chemistry, total mastery will always evade me. After I bring it up, it often goes like this: “So ADHD means you have trouble paying attention? I take Adderall sometimes to be more productive.” (He then might ask me for a few pills. For years I’ve worried that once someone knows the full extent of who I am—the incapacitating lethargy of my depression, the flightiness of my ADHD, the bottomless stomachaches of my anxiety—they won’t want to stick around, and I don’t blame them.People are allowed to want someone “normal,” just as I’m allowed to be upset that I can’t be that woman. But when it comes to talking about potential partners, most people don’t mention how to approach dating someone with a mental illness. We’ve all heard (or have) horror stories about dating people who turned out a little “crazy.” Maybe she moved from the “like” stage to the obsession stage too quickly, or maybe he reacted by burning your stuff when you ended things. But for me there’s one extra moment that will either bring us closer or add a tension that will plague us for the remainder of our time together.I have to reveal My Issues: I have major depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Does he need to know about the week last year when depression left me unable to leave my bed except to pee and open the door for nacho deliveries? (Or the fact that my existence is doomed to topple if I forget to bring them to his place one night? ” is not information I disclose in my Tinder profile; it wouldn’t be at home next to the spaghetti emoji and a quote from Generally I wait until after a few dates, when the guy might already suspect something is different about me—or notice that my bed is covered in Frosted Mini-Wheats—and yet not seem to mind. I find it helps to exercise and eat foods without preservatives.” People become armchair psychiatrists, forcing me to expend my already limited emotional energy explaining why I’d be dead were it not for the chemicals I swallow every day. I've struggled with an anxiety disorder for most of life.And knowing that my partner has to deal with it regularly leaves me feeling guilty and full of self-doubt.
Relationship Questions to Ask for Long-Term Commitment For one thing, it is very likely that you will at least go on a date with someone who is suffering or has suffered from mental health problems.
Living with a mental illness while also trying to find love and romantic happiness can be, scientifically speaking, really fucking tricky.
It’s hard with anyone, but it’s especially hard with someone that you fancy and want to go out with.
Honestly, don’t even bother asking because people will be very rude to you and unfriend you on Facebook. That’s from the Bible, which is kind of like God’s blog so we know it’s true.
But keeping your pals on hand for advice and reassurances that you’re a good and brilliant egg who deserves love can be lifesaving when you’re navigating the notoriously cruel and confusing world of romance and dating. You need broccoli and ice cream and all the other food groups to survive. If they’re big and they’re making you feel out of control, then slow down.
I feel horrible shame that my partner has to deal with my anxiety, even when his love and support give me no logical reason to feel this way.
Often, and unfairly, I express those feelings by picking fights with him -- over problems I've created because of my own self-doubts.
Because people think we’re damaged, or faulty, or high maintenance.
People think we broke their favourite vase and blamed it on a ghost.
It’s boring and awkward, and frankly, I’d rather be sticking hundreds (if not thousands) of googly eyes on a dog.
The conversation where I explain to someone that the grey matter in my brain sometimes has its own ideas about how my days should go, that intimacy has to come one step at a time and my emotions may be harder to understand than other people’s.